BURNING DESIRE
by MrsSuperman93
Summary: Their marriage had barely begun, yet it already threatened to travel the path of destruction. In the aftermath of J.R.'s death, Cliff's arrest and the Ewing's return to power, the flame of their desire for one another had somehow burnt out. With interference from every direction, can they ever restore it? [Lots of Sue Ellen because she's adorable.]
1. Chapter One

The Ewing Energies office buzzed with the excitement of their work reunion, and John Ross proudly surveyed the view of Dallas with his feet rooted firmly at the centre of the EE sign on the marble flooring. The doorway to his mother's office opened and his mother swept from it, her footsteps proceeding in his direction and John Ross studied the smile on her face, if it could be called that. Instead of the infectious grin that graced her face, John Ross found himself faced with an almost-malicious, toothless kind of smile that indicated a bubbling rage behind it. His suspicions pushed aside, John Ross stretched his arms open wide for an expectant maternal embrace but flinched when her palm whipped across his cheek. The crack of bare flesh upon flesh attracted the attention of everyone on the office platform but John Ross dismissed his internal humiliation and tilted his head back, with an aggressive scowl. "What the hell?"

Sue Ellen ignored the prying eyes upon them; her son the only human form in her line of vision. "I suggest you step you into my office."

"Not until you tell what that was for!" He soothingly caressed his cheek with his hand but the burn remained present; his father's advice never to make an enemy of his mother made itself known in his head and John Ross wondered, with a small smile, just how many times his father had been on the receiving end of his mother's unsuspecting attack. The sting forced him to wince in pain and he rubbed it some more, "Damn, that hurt."

"Maybe your dear friend, Emma, can kiss it better for you." Newly aware of just how many people would take notice of such information, Sue Ellen stepped in closer with her face inches away from John Ross and lowered her voice. "Unless you want the entire office to hear what I have to say to you, I strongly suggest you follow me into my office where we can continue this conversation in private." A flash of defeat replaced the previous one of defiance and John Ross didn't dare complain as his mother physically ushered him inside her office and shut the door behind them.

"Mama, I can explain –" his mouth hung open.

"Do you know how many times I heard those exact words from your father?" She circled him from behind and returned to the chair behind her desk, but she remained too furious to sit. "Damn it, John Ross! Your father and I made so many mistakes and clearly I've made another in thinking that you'd learnt from them." Every affair J.R. had pursued behind her back, she had countered with another empty bottle and their vicious cycle became a routine inflicted upon their son whenever one of them couldn't hold their end of the deal. Slouched in the chair before her with his right leg cocked over his knee, John Ross mirrored his father so much that Sue Ellen's anger subsided and she collapsed into the chair behind. Her hands clutched together and her elbows balanced on the desk, Sue Ellen rolled the chair forward. "I've just received a phone call from the ranch. It was Carmen. She said Pamela's gone."

John Ross' eyes snapped from the floor and back to his mother in shock. "Gone! What do you mean, gone?"

"My God, you are so much like your father. Once you have something, or someone, you lose all interest. Then, when they give up vying for your attention, you're all about the chase!" It was such an irrational way of thinking, and Sue Ellen still couldn't figure out what triggered it, but she knew how to sense it and both J.R. and John Ross possessed it. "Pamela left a letter for me and, upon my request, Carmen read it to me." She could still hear Carmen's unbearable discomfort and Sue Ellen demanded she continue to read the letter in which Pamela informed Sue Ellen of John Ross' on-going affair with Ann's daughter, Emma. With any luck, Ann hadn't overheard the phone call, for Bobby's wife would surely saddle all blame on John Ross' shoulders and, while Sue Ellen detested her son's actions, Emma's mischievous ways hadn't gone unnoticed. "Now, I don't know when this little affair with that girl started and I don't care. Before or after you married Pamela, it makes no difference to me. When you married Pamela, you made a vow, John Ross; didn't that mean anything to you?" It hadn't occurred to Sue Ellen just how perfected the timing of their marriage was with Cliff's takedown, until now, and Sue Ellen could barely fathom the possibility that her son had married Pamela purely for her shares in Barnes Global. "Did you love her at all, or was it all a part of the scheme to regain control of Ewing Energies?" Ashamed, John Ross found himself unable to respond to any one of her questions. "Do you remember what I said to you, when you and I were stood in your office for the first time since Cliff's arrest?" She lowered her head, forcing his eyes onto hers. "Well…?"

"Treat her right." John Ross reluctantly replied, avoiding his mother's eyes by looking anywhere but in her direction like a schoolboy scolded.

"And you spat it right back in my face! Do you think I'm an idiot?" Sue Ellen found herself seething; as little as she hated to make the destruction of John Ross and Pamela's marriage about her, she couldn't help it. "Don't you think I've had enough experience of marriage with your father to know what I'm talking about?" Once again, John Ross remained silent and Sue Ellen became aware of just how distant to the conversation her son was. "And you're still not listening to me now, are you? All you can think about is the moment I stop talking and you can waltz out of my office, probably to seek out your _friend_ and carry on like nothing happened." No matter her opinion, Sue Ellen couldn't quite bring herself to throw names at Ann's daughter and made a mental note to privately inform Ann of her knowledge. Besides, if she removed Emma from the situation, it would only be half the battle they had to fight. She suspected that, just like J.R., the name and face of the mouse didn't matter, just that it ran fast enough for the cat to chase. John Ross exhaled air and his cheek puffed out, an earnest sign of boredom, and Sue Ellen narrowed her eyes in disdain. "Would I be a fool to suspect that you might be interested in fixing whatever's broken so early on in your marriage?"

"Well, maybe I can do that, if you'd let me leave this office and find out where the hell she's gone." He countered, starting to become impatient with his mother's latest tirade. If his father's death meant that he became the next victim of her outbursts of anger then John Ross did not feel particularly thrilled by the position, yet he had no doubt that, if his father could see him, he would be highly amused at his compromise.

"And what happens, **if** and when Pamela decides to return to Southfork with you?" Sue Ellen raised an eyebrow, "Will it be a few more months of pretence before she learns of another one of your indiscretions? Because, if you're planning on a repeat of what happened between your father and I, don't think I'll happily sit by and watch it play out. Hurt her again, John Ross, and I will not be responsible for my actions!" Somehow, Sue Ellen didn't picture Pamela as one of those women who would hopelessly fall to pieces while John Ross played the field and she didn't envy John Ross should Pamela decide to strike out. "Have I made myself clear?"

John Ross cleared his throat, "Yes, ma'am."

She brushed a few wisps of hair away from her eyes. "John Ross, I don't want you to reconcile with her because it'll make me happy, or even because it'll make Pamela happy; as much as I would love to see you two happy with one another, you need to make this kind of decision for you because it's what you want." Her initial marriage to J.R. had been another attempt to please his parents, as had every reconciliation afterwards, and Sue Ellen hated to see history repeat itself. "If you think you can really commit yourself to Pamela, then make the effort, but don't rebuild her hopes all for nothing. Unless, you want to inflict the kind of misery you suffered as a child on any children you and she may have in the future." His eyes darkened, rather insulted by how callous his mother perceived him to be toward his wife, but said nothing. Sue Ellen acknowledged how her remark had affected him and nudged her guilt into the corner of her mind and rolled her lips against one another in contemplation. "Well, Pamela will probably need some time to cool off before you run in guns blazing for a reunion but you do need to talk to her at some point. Do you have any idea what you'll say?"

He shook his head, "Nope." He still couldn't decipher exactly how Pamela had learnt of his affair with Emma, and before he could assert whether she had any factual evidence, or the affair was an assumption her mind had created, John Ross refused to admit to anything. "As much as I appreciate your experience in the field of reconciliations, I think I can handle my wife."

"She doesn't need to be _handled_, John Ross!" The disappointment evidently returned and Sue Ellen deeply inhaled, wondering how her son could possibly be so clueless. "She needs to be reminded why she fell in love with you, she needs to feel the attraction you shared at the very start of your relationship and, then if you're a lucky man, she might give you another chance." For John Ross' sake, Sue Ellen liked to think Pamela would forgive and forget his infidelity with Emma.

"Daddy always taught me never to rely on luck, but be a man that makes your own." John Ross stood to his feet and straightened out his jacket with a confident smile. "Don't worry, mama. I don't have any intention of letting Pamela slip through my fingers; before you know it, she'll be back at Southfork. I'll make it right, I promise." He leaned forward and kissed his mother on the cheek. "Thank you." It pleased him, in an odd sense, to see his mother hold so much approval and affection for his wife enough to fight her defence should a break-up ensue. She hadn't held Elena in the same respect, and perhaps that was his first clue that Pamela really was different from any other woman. Taking flight, John Ross quietly returned to his office and admired the frame split into four pictures of himself and Pamela, which they had taken in a photo-booth at Vegas shortly after their wedding. "Get back to the attraction you shared at the start…" he repeated his mother's advice and frowned, unable to remember what exactly had attracted him to a woman he knew so little about. They hadn't even known one another well, despite her marriage to his cousin, but somewhere along the line they had developed a _burning desire_ for one another and somehow the flame had burnt out. "Well, we'll just have to relight it, won't we?" He grinned to himself, introduced to another challenge with his wife at the helm.


	2. Chapter Two

Exhaustion overwhelmed Sue Ellen as she finally returned home from a hectic afternoon at the office, though it barely balanced on the same scale as the kind of chaos Cliff had inflicted in the aftermath of J.R.'s death. In the darkness, her bar openly welcomed her and Sue Ellen was in the middle of making a beeline to it when a well-manicured hand reached out and flicked the light switch on the lamp beside the sofa. Her legs loosely stretched across the material and Pamela Rebecca poured herself another drink from the near-empty Bourbon bottle in her hand, "Welcome home." She smiled sweetly at her mother-in-law, "Long day?"

"Pamela!" Sue Ellen exclaimed, her surprise evident.

Immediately, Pamela leapt from the sofa and set the bottle aside, a bottle from which she had only devoured one glassful, and tucked her brunette strands behind her ear with a worried frown. "I'm sorry for the intrusion, Sue Ellen, I just didn't have anywhere else to stay at such short notice." It didn't escape Pamela's attention just how many resources John Ross had on his side and any hotels, even if she were to reside under a false name, would surely be his first port of call.

"Of course not, you know you're always welcome here." Sue Ellen popped her keys back into her purse. Her arms curled around Pamela, "I've been trying to reach you all afternoon, ever since I received the letter you left at Southfork."

Pamela nodded her head, inhaling the little comfort she had from a true confidante. Her phone had been one of very few items, which she had left behind at Southfork, all for fear that it would somehow lead John Ross to her position. "I'm sorry to have dragged you into this, especially after all you've been through." Aside from Sue Ellen, Pamela had no one. Her father labelled a cold-blooded murderer, her mother consistently absent, and somehow Pamela didn't predict neither Bobby or Christopher to be all too sympathetic to her situation, and Ann's involvement certainly wasn't an option. "If it's too awkward, I can find somewhere else."

"Nonsense! You'll stay right here with me, and don't you worry about John Ross because I won't tell him a thing." Sue Ellen loosened her arms from Pamela and shrugged off her coat, "If anyone understands the need to make yourself invisible from the world, even if it's only for a little while, it's me." Before her affair with Dusty Farlow, and consequential introduction to the Farlow's ranch, Southern Cross, Sue Ellen had nowhere to run, which was partly the reason she had been so susceptible to J.R.'s clutches after every bitter betrayal. In her years of experience, Sue Ellen had acquired the ability to detect a similar sadness and Pamela's eyes reflected the disappointment hers had held. "Pamela, I'm so sorry. John Ross may be my son, but I can't defend, or even rationalise, his actions for you. All I can do is apologise." Her eyes fell to the bottle, its contents which her lips desperately desired, "And empathise, perhaps." She forcefully drew her eyes away from the golden liquid and smiled, "It's not too late, and you couldn't possibly have eaten yet." Her empty refrigerator could only be attributed to how insanely their lives had been ridden into overdrive, as they clambered to rescue Ewing Energies from their competitors, and being another victim of the infamous Barnes-Ewing feud. "So, how would you like to have dinner with me?" The enthusiastic smile on Pamela's lips didn't match the uncertain glint in her eyes and Sue Ellen's lips twitched in contemplation. "We can order in, if you don't feel comfortable being in public. I've got it on good authority that John Ross has initiated a wide-scale search for you since your departure from Southfork."

A mild smile of satisfaction, that her decision to leave the family home had provoked some kind of reaction from her husband, spread across Pamela's lips and she nodded her head. "I would love to! But, first, do you mind if I take a shower?"

Though Pamela's discomfort was rationally justified by the short period of time in which they had known one another, the older woman rolled her eyes in mock discontent. "Make yourself at home. Mi casa es su casa, as they say!" She started to wander into the kitchen, in search of the delivery leaflets. "How do you feel about Chinese?" Sue Ellen called out, as Pamela began to trudge up the stairs in search of the guest bedroom.

* * *

"It must be so different here for you." Pamela pointed out, as she did her best to put out the fires of paranoia and pulled the curtains across from the window which overlooked the main road outside. "As I understood it, you spent so many years living at Southfork, being surrounded by this huge family and now you're here." She returned to her place at the dinner table, as Sue Ellen spread out their delivery order and set two plates. "Do you like living alone?"

"It's peaceful." Besides a short period of time, in which she had divorced J.R., Sue Ellen had never lived alone. Even then, John Ross had been a small child and had occupied her attention. Now, with her twilight years ahead of her, she had learnt to appreciate the opportunity of solitude. "It's quite the transformation but, I imagine, you can understand that. You've gone from living alone, to living at Southfork. Such a large family has the tendency to overwhelm, even if they don't intend on it." It would have been the perfect open to inquire about Pamela's childhood but Sue Ellen had little interest in Afton and Cliff still felt like a raw wound. "It's one of those adjustments that never feel particularly complete. Bobby has almost become like the brother I never had but I've never been able to forget I'm not a blood Ewing."

"Like I'll never be able to forget I'm a Barnes?" She checked, her eyes filled with defeat. Neither woman could find the perfect response, and Pamela nudged the food around her plate like a fidget. "My father loved Chinese." The sticky smell of Chinese takeout, or the image of anything remotely oriental, could provoke any number of childhood memories but, in light of her father's monstrous heart, Pamela had no interest in a walk down memory lane.

A reminiscent smile formed, "Yes, I know. Long before you or John Ross were born, your father and I were dear friends for some time." Evidence flashed across Pamela's face as to the relentless pain Cliff's actions had burdened her with and Sue Ellen wondered just how much of the man behind the myth Pamela had encountered, and loved like the father Afton had never allowed him to become. "Pamela, forgive me, if you don't appreciate my interfering but, how old were you before your father and you finally reconciled? I know your mother left Dallas before she fell pregnant."

"I was four years old, when my father found us the first time. Nobody explained who he was, but I knew somehow, I could tell he was someone special." Her childish innocence had been the only reason Pamela had devoted her loyalty to her father with a fierce heart, almost as if she were desperate to resolve the distance between them over the years. "He found us much later on, and my mother warned me against him, but I needed my father and he needed me. We bonded, we spent hours together and daddy told me so many stories about his father and my aunt, Pamela. Time passed, and it became clear that my father intended on retribution. I promised to help him, I thought maybe it would bring him peace and we could find some kind of normality afterwards but it destroyed him." Her father's innate need for revenge had been inherited from his own, and it had left behind a killer in replacement of the father Pamela yearned. "Maybe, if I had said no, our lives could have been different. Instead, John Ross has lost his father and I've lost mine."

"What happened to J.R. isn't your fault, Pamela. Neither you or John Ross are to blame for your fathers' sins and that was the very mistake they made." She scrunched her handkerchief and shook her head in frustration at the mess their lives had splattered into over such trivial, historical worries. "The Barnes-Ewing feud should have ended with Digger and Jock." Sue Ellen stretched her hand over Pamela's and lightly squeezed it. "You know, your father wasn't always so obsessed with the Ewing's and revenge. When I knew him well, he had a kind heart and a wild loyalty to the ones he cared about." While Sue Ellen preferred not to divulge just how well-acquainted she and Cliff had been, it had become painfully evident just how much reassurance Pamela needed. "There have been times when Cliff was one of the rare friends I could truly count on, without him, I would've been lost. After my divorce from J.R., he became a great friend."

Pamela raised an eyebrow in surprise. "You've just spoken better of my father to me in thirty seconds than my mother has in nearly thirty years!"

Sue Ellen dragged her differences with Afton aside, and nonchalantly shrugged her shoulders. "Well, life experience has allowed me to pursue the facts a little further before I make my judgement. Besides, your mother has a complicated history with your father and she's seen sides to him that others haven't been privy to before."

Despite her best attempt, Pamela couldn't help but let it slip out. She pursed her lips and frowned, "You played a part in that complicated history once. I know my father was in love with you, he told me."

Knocked temporarily off-balance, Sue Ellen swallowed the lump in her throat, as she became reminded of a painful period in her life. "That was long time ago, before even your mother entered the picture, Pamela. Back then, your father always seemed to desire what J.R. had and I was simply one of the possessions on the list. Once my marriage to J.R. reached breaking point, I decided to let him have me." She smiled, as she pictured the different course her life nearly travelled. "But our affiliation was merely an opportunity to spit on the Ewing name for Cliff and, for me, it was about revenge, which is why I'm extremely concerned about you."

Confusion filled Pamela's widened eyes, "Me?"

"Betrayal can be a powerful motivator for revenge and it took me quite a few years before I finally found the courage to challenge J.R., but I know you're a much stronger woman than I ever was at your age and I know that, if you ever hope to reconcile with John Ross, you'll need to find some way to equalise the score." Her fingers played nervously with the tablecloth, as she studied Pamela's expression. "Pamela, I may abhor John Ross' actions but he is still, and always will be, my son and I will always love him. Now, I have great admiration for you and I don't doubt I'll come to love you like a daughter, which is why I don't want to see you hurt yourself over whatever has happened with Emma." In consideration of Emma being Harris Ryland's daughter, it didn't surpass Sue Ellen that John Ross' feelings for the young vixen were no more than business-based; whether her feelings were on a more personal level, Sue Ellen couldn't be sure. "I won't pressure you but you will need to make some kind of a decision as to your futures and it'll be easier for everyone, if you're able to make it as early as possible. Would you consider a reconciliation?"

An expression of confliction flashed across Pamela's features, and her shoulders slugged in exasperation at her crossroads. As a little girl, her images of the future had been the exact opposite of this dilemma. Of course, she naturally assumed their marriage would run into hurdles but she hadn't anticipated that those hurdles would appear before they even had a chance to revel in marital bliss. "I don't know, I don't know if I can even look him in the eyes."

Respectful of her predicament, Sue Ellen bowed her head. "I understand. But, if you were interested in one, and a little retribution on the side, I'm not opposed to it and I'm well-versed should you need any advice." A mischievous smile befell Sue Ellen and Pamela smiled inwardly at the playful spark in her mother-in-law's eyes; if anyone knew how to match a Ewing man, it was Sue Ellen. "Food for thought," Sue Ellen shrugged her shoulders and started to tuck into her plateful.


End file.
